WEEK 1: BIRDS AND THE BEES

Welcome to week one of the Couple’s Bootcamp!

The Bootcamp offers the opportunity to enhance your understanding of yourself, your partner and your relationship, which will ultimately result in better sex and intimacy. Sex is often oversimplified because the focus is on sexual performance. The good news is that sexual satisfaction and intimacy are not reliant on performance, it is about individual wellbeing and a healthy relationship with your partner.

This week we will be taking a deep dive into all of the magical ways that our bodies function during sex. Sexuality education doesn’t end in high school, it is a lifelong process as your body continues to change throughout your lifetime. Part of having good sex is possessing mature sexual knowledge and confidence. Your partner will also go through changes and it is important to check in with them to help deepen your understanding of their experience of life, sex and your relationship. 

Understanding more about how your bodies work can help contribute to forming a connection with your own body, as well as gaining more confidence in the way your body functions. Don’t forget that you are part of an intimate team. Valuing each other’s emotions and sexual health help contribute to developing your sexual expression. Being emotionally aware generates more empathy, which creates opportunities to strengthen your bond. 

As with everything during the Couple’s Bootcamp, we encourage you to bring a curious, open mind, as well as a commitment to understanding more about your experiences of sexuality as an individual and a couple.

Watch

The amazing Euphemia Russell gives a delightfully refreshing take on all things sex as she provides the sexual education that you wish you had. 

Exercises

Anatomy and you
So you think you know what your most sensual parts look like?

What about your partner??

For this activity, you only need yourself, your partner and each other’s genitals. For penis owners, try to locate the urethra, frenulum, shaft, glans, perineum, scrotal raphe, scrotum, testicles. For vulva owners, try to locate the mons pubis, urethra, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia (inner and outer), vagina, pudendal cleft, perineum.

For more information about erogenous zones and a body map, check out this informative article on Healthline. 

What do you know about sex?
No matter how much we know about sex there is always room to know more. In this exercise, it is time to test your knowledge by asking each other, “what do you know about sex?” Detail as much information as possible.

This conversation works really well if you discuss what you know, go away and do some research, then return to the conversation. See if you can surprise each other. 

Sexual response cycles
There has been a lot of research on how bodies work during sex. It is generally thought that there is desire, then arousal as all those juicy feelings build up, which can culminate in orgasm followed by resolution and a recovery period.

This exercise is about paying attention to your own sexual scripts. Find some space to sit down together and ask each other the following questions:

What starts the sexual response cycle in your relationship?

How does the desire work?

How does your arousal work and build?

Understanding your arousal narratives can help you make sure that you have all the right “ingredients” to have consistently enjoyable sex.